Peer Review 15 for Benjamin Macklin

As the final review of the semester, I definitely had to take in a lot of information about a rushed piece of work. Every student felt the crunch time as they were creating their final project, and I'm sure any outside assistance could help them revise their essay to their best ability. What follows is a peer review of Ben Macklin''s podcast titled: Podcast of My Honors English Reflection.

As the final cut of his project, I decided to do a copy-editing suggestion for my peer review, where I look over his content and language and determine if any changes to content could aid his project. Doing this, I found that his amount of detail regarding specifics in his projects were lacking, but over the essay was smooth and flowed well, covering a variety of topics in only seven minutes.

Seeing as the majority of his content was okay, but that detail would aid his essay, I suggested he add one or two more specific examples pulled from his first three projects to back up some of the claims he made during the project, and also to allow the reader to have a better idea of the projects in question.

I believe this would help him stay grounded in this semester, as he often talks about high school and his past, but doesn't make enough references to the current semester and his writing there. Seeing as this is one of the requirements for the project laid out in the document highlighting the main aspects of the final course evaluation, adding this to his project would definitely help him out.

The main thing I admired about his work was how well it flowed from one topic to another in the short amount of time the podcast took up. My podcast is too long in my opinion, and I wish I could have done it as effectively as Ben.

Editorial Report 15B - Time Management

As the final project had to be completed in record time, my revision and editing process came under a time crunch. Looking back at my rough draft I wrote only a few days ago, I only had hours to comb through my podcast and make the editing changes that would finalize the project for good. What follows is a few question on how I made changes to my time management section from the rough cut, to the re-edited final version of project.

Selection from rough cut:

**Change in music to signify change in subject**

    As opposed to unique quality of each project, the one commonality I saw across my method for each project was time management. Across every project, I had an issue with procrastination, often waiting until the last minute to write full drafts of the project or complete the necessary process work to receive a full grade in the class. The first time I saw this issue come to light was on January 31st, the date of one of the first major deadlines for my first project. That night, I had to turn in seven major blog posts, all with many points attached to them. Thankfully, I was able to complete all of the assignments, but it took six hours straight, from 5pm to 11pm, on my free Sunday to complete all of this work. Unfortunately, just by completing these initial deadlines early on, I reinforced my already weak skills in time management, knowing that I could finish deadlines just in the nick of time. Another event where I waited until the last minute, was Sunday, March 27th, where I only turned in one blog post for my process work. Due on this date was the final draft of my second project, a video essay which caught me off guard with the amount of time it took to edit. Because I waited until the last minute, it affected how much I could react to issues such as saving the project wrong and not being able to easily edit the video, eliminating vital parts of my writing process such as review and revision. While I did receive a decent score on that project, my grade surely suffered from a lack of revision, and also, a lack of any sort of process work for that week.

**Rise in music volume**

Surely, I did learn different forms of writing processes that would go into each project, but the knowledge and amount of skill learned from each project dropped significantly due to my

failures in time management, putting off deadlines, and even more seriously, putting off any sort of thought into English for 6/7th of the week.

Questions:

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
   - One of the few changes I made to this content was to add a transition sentence to the end of the time management paragraph, in order to allow for a smoother transition to the conclusion paragraph. This allows the reader to continue listening without any hard cuts in sound or thought.
    
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version.
   - The form of my time management paragraph did change a bit, as opposed to the long length of the text, it is now broken up into certain sections. As I recorded all of the audio, I found that certain sections that were related to each other were easier to record as opposed to a long length of text, which would often have to be completely rerecorded. The transition sentence also allows for better transition into the next paragraph, making smooth flow of audio a priority. I believe these changes allow the reader to understand me better, as my fast speaking voice can drone on when not broken up into sections.
    
    
   

   Re-Edited Selection: 
   
   
   
   

   **Change in music to signify change in subject**

   
   

       As opposed to unique qualities of each project, the one common problem I saw across my method for each project was time management. Across every project, I had an issue with procrastination, often waiting until the last minute to write full drafts of the project or complete the necessary process work to receive a full grade in the class. The first time I saw this issue come to light was on January 31st, the date of one of the first major deadlines for my first project.

   That night, I had to turn in seven major blog posts, all with many points attached to them. Thankfully, I was able to complete all of the assignments, but it took six straight hours, from 5pm to 11pm, on my free Sunday, to complete all of this work. Unfortunately, just by completing these initial deadlines early on, I reinforced my already weak skills in time management, knowing that I could finish deadlines just in the nick of time.

   Another event where I waited until the last minute, was Sunday, March 27th, where I only turned in one blog post for my process work. Due on this date was the final draft of my second project, a video essay which caught me off guard with the amount of time it took to edit. Because I waited until the last minute, it affected how much I could react to issues such as saving the project wrong and not being able to easily edit the video, eliminating vital parts of my writing process such as review and revision. While I did receive a decent score on that project, my grade surely suffered from a lack of revision, and also, a lack of any sort of process work for that week.

   
   

   **Rise in music volume**
   
   

   Surely, I did learn different forms of writing processes that would go into each project, but the knowledge and amount of skill learned from each project dropped significantly due to my failures in time management, putting off deadlines, and even more seriously, putting off any sort of thought into English for 6/7th of the week. This is a skill I’m currently working on and a part of my writing process that is still in development, to this day.

Editorial Report 15A - Introduction

As the final project had to be completed in record time, my revision and editing process came under a time crunch. Looking back at my rough draft I wrote only a few days ago, I only had hours to comb through my podcast and make the editing changes that would finalize the project for good. What follows is a few question on how I made changes to my introduction from the rough cut, to the re-edited final version of project.

Selection from rough cut:

Introduction

    Hello, my name is Alexander McCarthy, and in this podcast, you’ll hear me discuss the first three projects in my English 109 honors class, for first year english.

*Introduction Music*

Starting my second semester in college, I always knew English would be a rough class, a class that would be highlighting my transition from a high schooler to college student in my freshman year. Even in high school, I was not a magnificent English student, but I was still met with success. Seeing as I am majoring in Aerospace Engineering, my enthusiasm for English is lacking, and after years of having history essays thrown at me, with little successful teaching in previous English classes, I did not feel ready for honors level college English.

*Consider Sound effect*

Starting the semester I was worried. One of my high school friends who had this teacher for English in the Fall semester said he gave out a ton of homework, but overall the teacher was a cool guy and the projects were interesting. I soon found out this was all extraordinarily true.

*Pause / Music rise in volume*

Reflecting back on the semester, I discovered that my writing process in general has remained uniform, but when you examine works closely, such as the first three projects of my English 109H class, you uncover how each topic, and especially, each genre, has unique properties that modified my writing process. One overarching theme does recur though, an emphasis on time management, which I also learned, through long nights and spurts of productivity. 

Questions:

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
   -  My introduction did change quite a bit. I added quite a few sections, such as some detailed like what classes I took in high school to set me apart, or the tidbit that my english class was at 8am, both designed to relate to the audience why I am an honors student, and why I had some dread about this class. I also included almost and entire section dedicated to why I am writing about specifically the writing process, and not just my writing in general. This helps the audience understand better what the podcast's purpose is, rather than leaping blind like my original cut.
   
   
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version.
   - The form of my introduction did change, such as actually including transition audio between my introduction first sentence, and the rest of my introduction, and also putting emphasis on works such as lacking, or the entire semester. This all gave my vocals some personality, letting the audience relate to my feelings or emphasis on certain parts of the project, coming off more clearly than a boring monotone voice. Much of the grammar of this introduction paragraph was also changed as I read through the script, in order to accommodate a smoother speaking voice, which lends itself to the conventions of the podcast. 
   
   
   
   
   Re-Edited Selection: 
   
   
   Hello, my name is Alexander McCarthy, and in this podcast, you’ll hear me discuss the writing process of the first three projects in my English 109 honors class, a freshman level english class composed of four major projects.  
   
   
   *Introduction Music*
      
   
   
   Starting my second semester in college, I always knew English would be a rough class, a class that would be highlighting my transition from a high school senior to a freshman year college student. Even in high school, I was not a magnificent English student, but I was still met with success, getting A’s on papers all four years, even through Advanced placement courses like AP Literature and AP Composition & Writing. However, seeing as I am majoring in Aerospace Engineering, my enthusiasm for English is... lacking, and after years of having history essays thrown at me, along with little successful teaching in previous English classes, I did not feel ready for an honors level college English class, especially at 8:00 AM.
   
   
   *Consider Sound effect*
   
   
   Starting the semester I was worried. One of my high school friends who had this teacher for English in the Fall semester said he gave out a ton of homework, but overall the teacher was a cool guy and the projects were interesting. I soon found out this was all extraordinarily true.
   
   
   *Pause / Music rise in volume*
   
   
   Blog posts, image citations, research paragraphs, and peer reviewing rough drafts, a lot of spontaneous work of different qualities and forms comes rushing back to me when I think back through parts of the semester. All of this work, I realise, was in hopes of developing my writing process, and not my actual talent as a writer. Therefore, as I look back on my semester in english, I must focus myself on how creating, researching, editing, everything about the writing process, has changed for me.
   
   
   But when reflecting back on the entire semester, I discovered that my writing process in general has remained uniform. When you examine works closely, such as each of the first three projects of my honors English class, you uncover how each topic, and especially, each genre, has unique properties that have modified my writing process. Two overarching themes do recur though, an emphasis on time management, and a challenging amount of blog posts, which I learned through long nights and spurts of productivity.
   
   

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

In this open post to my peer, I am welcoming any and all feedback to my final project for English 109H. For any major essay, review and revision is necessary, and receiving feedback from outside sources will always help you gain insight and knowledge to help you create a better project. Below is a few question I would like a reader to know about my final project.

• Key information about your particular project that you would like anyone who peer reviews your draft to know
  - This project is common to all of my peer in my English class. Therefore, I believe all of you can relate to me when I state I had issues with time management, different genres, software, etc, and you can understand when I say high school probably didn't prepare us for every situation in this class, like blog posts. I believe every reader can relate to parts of my project in different ways, and this helps us all review the projects with common knowledge and background, so the reader can also see why I made certain choices without explanation. 
   
• Major issues or weaknesses in the “Final Cut” that you’re already aware of (as well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those weaknesses)
  - One of the major weaknesses with my final cut is that I think it is too long. I don't think I included too much content however, so I believe there was a disconnect with script writing, and actual recording, and I believe a bit of my essay could be cut down to make way for a quicker, and easier to listen to podcast. I would like to know from my readers if this really is a major issue like I think it is, or if it doesn't really harm the purpose of the project. Also, I believe my podcast could be a bit more interesting, like some of the examples that are posted on D2L, but this could be due to my writing style or the topic of the project. I would like to ask the reader if the project does get a bit boring, especially combined with the length of the project.
   
• Major virtues or strengths in the “Final Cut” that you’re already aware of (as well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those strengths)
  - One of the major strengths of my final cut is that I believe the essay covers the majority of changes that occurred throughout the year during my writing process. In short, I believe my content does cover the majority of the topic, and that the reader should definitely have a better understanding of how my writing process went throughout the year.  I would like to know from the reader if the content really does cover the majority of a writing process, and if they believe they now have a well versed understanding of how I wrote throughout the year. 
  
  
  Link to my final cut can be found here.

Production Report 14B - Time Management

Producing raw content on a well planned project transforms the content that you previous outlined, into usable, malleable content which can be edited and cut to perfection. In my project, the fourth project reflecting on previous project, I transformed my time management body section of my content outline, into raw content. Below are links to each respective piece, outline and raw content, along with a few questions to clarify how the process of content creation went.

  

Outline Item :

 

Time management - Across every single project I encountered, the main commonality across the genres was the amount of time management I needed. Every one of my projects suffered from a lack of time management, and I believe every kind of project requires this skill as part of the process, one I have yet to master.

• Specific blog posts from each project that are late/lackluster due to timing
• Acknowledging certain parts of projects I saw that could be improved but couldn’t due to time
• Importance: This is the major issue with my writing process, timing. When I procrastinate and let deadlines slip, major parts of my writing process suffer, such as worthwhile research, process work, and especially the editing process. These failures show how important having enough time is to my writing process, and that key features need the time to be able to work.

How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?

 - The content of my raw material is in the form of a script. Because a video essay has no real textual form, my content is in the form of one giant paragraph which can be read off of and recording at my own pace, rather than the pace of a reader. The conventions of a podcast, a less formal discussion of one major topic, shows through in my choice of wording, deciding to go for a more conversational tone, emphasizing my own thoughts of my writing and what that means in terms of my writing process, rather than deeply analyzing and constantly calling outside facts like a QRG, or regular essay. The conventions also influenced me by allowing me to include ques for the addition or changes in audio and music, which will affect how the reader listens and interprets my voice.

How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
 - Creating this material was hard for me because I had to be very honest about my own faults, which very clearly indicate I have an issue with time management. These failures on my part are also easy to point out to myself, but no so much to a broad audience, so I have to learn a balance between talking about my own perception, and including outside facts and examples to support my views to an audience that is unfamiliar with my work this semester. I also learned that creating a script for a podcast can be very informal, which was nice, as it lessened the amount of stress I had creating the script. I realized, especially when creating this paragraph, that a script will definitely change, right up until the point where it is finally submitted, but the ideas presented in it will remain relatively the same. As long as I include the major content I want to talk about now, it will be presented more clearly when I am actually recording for the podcast.

Adaptation of Outline Item: 

Here is a link to my time management body section of my rough draft. 

Production Report 14A - Introduction

Producing raw content on a well planned project transforms the content that you previous outlined, into usable, malleable content which can be edited and cut to perfection. In my project, the fourth project reflecting on previous project, I transformed my introduction section of my content outline, into raw content. Below are links to each respective piece, outline and raw content, along with a few questions to clarify how the process of content creation went.

Outline Item:

Introduction - Thesis statement would be included here, summarizing that different genres require different processes and challenges which should affect how you plan for them, but the one main issue I found in my semester was time management.

• Including introduction and background to my writing career, and what I went into semester thinking, relate to a common audience with my background
• Speaking at a college level, what kind of advice would I offer to myself when I was beginning this semester

 How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?

  - The form of a podcast requires an audience to listen to only audio, which means describing vivid interactions, especially with my past, is important. This type of form, is also why I included direction for my own content recording, where I may include sound effects, or changes in the music, to induce a type of transition that is unique to audio and video formats. Conventions of podcasts include a more conversational tone which comes across similar to the flow of though of a conversation. This is why I include the brief mentions of my past, which I may go more in depth on, depending on the length of my video. The convention of the podcast to use descriptive writing is also why I included a brief section introducing myself and the content of the podcast, to allow readers an idea of the topic that will be mentioned, so that they are prepared to listen.

How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
- The production of this raw material went fine, by creating a script this really allows me to cut a lot of the flubs or hiccups that may occur when recording audio from a blank slate. One of the main issues I do face though is my consideration of time. When creating this script, I  am unsure how fast my voice may speak, or how much time I should consider dedicating to this introduction in comparison to the rest of video, especially because I am unsure how long the rest of the video will be. Another major challenge is balancing the laid back nature of the podcast genre, and the serious topic I will be discussing, the reflection of the first three projects of my English class.
 

Adaptation of Outline Item: 

Here is a link to my introduction rough draft script for my podcast.

Production Schedule

Any good project, which follows an especially tight timeline such as our fourth and final project, will require a precise and specific timeline. What follows is my timeline for my fourth project reflecting on my past three projects.

Here is a link to my production timeline.

Content Outline

After figuring out exactly what you will be writing about, it is important to lay down an outline clarifying exactly what you will be writing about in a content outline. What follows is a link to my content outline for the fourth project of this semester in English 109H, my reflection project on my past three projects.

Here is a link to my outline.

Peer Review 14 for Nick Hernandez

As our final project gets under way, the crunch time of a full project within only two weeks sets in. This peer review will be one of the few pieces of information that can influence a fellow writer as he writes about his past works. This post, I will review the content outline for Nick Hernandez.


Nick Hernandez's Content Outline  will be outlined using the outlining suggestion format, where I will look at the level of detail, evidence, and the relevance of the content he is planning on creating. I believe my suggestion will allow Nick to take his already well established project and step well in the range of an A+ QRG, due to the fact that his content is already solid, but his QRG could use more detailed examples and especially, hyperlinks. The student's guide mentions that we should focus on our course process and I believe Nick definitely hit that topic well, but I know that within a QRG, you must have many specific examples and hyperlinks which will help him create a well format QRG. One think I admire about Nick's content outline is the amount of detail content-wise that he put into it. If he expanded on each topic some more he would already have a full essay with transitions and everything. If anything, I admire how close he already is to finishing his project.