Editorial Report for Second Body Paragraph

Looking back and review work you've revised will allow you effectively gauged how well your review process has been going. In the case of this project, it is vital to our revision process, as the majority of the time for this project has been dedicated to reviewing our rough and semi-revised drafts. Thankfully, this will result in an excellent product. What follows are my answers to audience questions regarding my most recent revision process regarding a section of my second body paragraph.

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
   - I did not add too much content but I rather reworded the ideas presented in the paragraphs. In one of the sections I am talking about why stealth is so important, but in my previous draft, I failed to summarize why it was so important in a strong sentence, so that sentence was included in my final version. In another section I am talking about the F-4 Phantom's failure to have a gun and how that effected dog fights in Vietnam, but the sentence was awkwardly worked, so I split it up into different sentences with more direct meaning. I believe these changed will allow a reader to more easily grasp the content being presented to them in this section, allowing them to see my point better without poor content wording getting in the way.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
   - The one major change to form I had was the previous mentioned addition of added sentences to more fluently move through my content, but also the addition of a new section, designating the story of the F-4 Phantom as a separate subheading. I believe in this section before, the paragraph dragged on too long, and would benefit from being broken up into a separate section. I believe these change will allow a reader to more easily read through this content, making it fit into the idea of a QRG better and letting them receive the content quicker.
   
   
   Selection from Rough Draft
   
   
    
   Why is stealth so important?
   With many other countries around the world developing a modern air force and the spread of popular designs of aircraft, such as Mig or Su aircraft from Russia and China, or our own aircraft like the F-16 or F-15 being sold around the world, our Air Force’s only advantage at the moment is the quantity of craft we have and the quality of our pilots. In a one on one fight, even our best planes could be matched and shot down evenly by another country. Advanced stealth aircraft act as a “deterrent against near-peer threats.” But as with other planes before, stealth isn’t always perfect. Vega 31, the first and only stealth air craft to be shot down, was destroy during an operation over Serbia in 1999, destroy by a surface to air missile, a supposedly obsolete air defense system run by the Yugoslavian military. Other stealth aircraft, like the F-22 Raptor, the air-superiority brother of the F-35, cost so much to make, that they stopped making them altogether, purchasing only 187 at a cost of $412 million per plane for the whole program. Another stealth craft, the B-2 Spirit bomber, costs $1.15 billion per plane, an immense buy-in cost for any weapon system.
   
   
   But our aircraft will be the best right?

   "We see a very different F-35 program. Our top (Pentagon) leaders state the jet is performing well and it will change the way we'll fight future wars. . . “ -        Lockheed Spokesperson Michael Rein

   The F-35 still matches up very favorably against other aircraft, being a 5^th Generation fighter, and there is no doubt that many of these new technologies, stealth, sensor fusion, and communications, will culminate to make the fighter a better craft, but there is a danger in relying on technology. Huge leaps in technology have happened before in the Air Force, such as the jump from the F-86 Sabre, armed only with guns, to the F-4 Phantom, a jet fighter equipped to use brand new missiles. Fighting in combat in Vietnam, the F-4 proved to work, but was still being shot down at an alarming rate. Attributed to the lack of proper dog-fighting training because there were no guns, and no ability to shoot a plane at close range, the F-4 was later fitted with a gun pod, and further variants were built with a gun. A similar situation could happen with the F-35, where the pilots, already flying without the proper equipment, software, or conditions, might not be fully ready for combat, especially in a close in encounter with enemy aircraft, outside of its range of long-distance attack stealth and missile technology is suited for. 
   
   
   
    Selection from Re-edited Draft
   
   
    
   Why is stealth so important?
   Countries around the world are developing a modern air force and the gap between the U.S. air force and other groups is quickly closing.  Paired with the spread of popular designs of aircraft through shared intelligence, such as the Mig or Su aircraft from Russia and China, and sales like those of our own F-16s and F-15s, our Air Force’s only advantage at the moment is the quantity and quality of craft and pilots we have. In a one on one fight, even our best planes could be matched and shot down evenly by another country. Advanced stealth aircraft act as a “deterrent against near-peer threats.” Stealth allows a capable aircraft to penetrate air defenses and give pilots an upper-hand in dog fight. However, as with past planes, stealth isn’t always perfect. Vega 31, the first and only stealth air craft to be shot down, was destroyed during an operation over Serbia in 1999 by a surface to air missile, a supposedly obsolete air defense system run by the Yugoslavian military. Other stealth aircraft, like the F-22 Raptor, the air-superiority brother of the F-35, cost so much to make, that the Air Force stopped ordering them altogether, purchasing only 187 at a cost of $412 million per plane for the whole program. Another stealth craft, the B-2 Spirit bomber, costs $1.15 billion per plane, an immense buy-in cost for any weapon system.
   But our aircraft will be the best right?

   "We see a very different F-35 program. Our top (Pentagon) leaders state the jet is performing well and it will change the way we'll fight future wars. . . “ -        Lockheed Spokesperson Michael Rein

   Despite the aforementioned issues with production and sales, the F-35 still outdoes many of our other aircraft.  As a 5^th Generation fighter there is no doubt that these new technologies: stealth, sensor fusion, and communications, will culminate to make the fighter a better craft once it reaches the end of its production struggles.  However, there is a danger in relying so heavily on technology. 
   The story of the F-4 Phantom
   Previous leaps in technology within the Air Force include the jump from the F-86 Sabre, armed only with guns, to the F-4 Phantom, a jet fighter equipped to use brand new missiles, have caused numerous difficulties.  While in combat in Vietnam, the F-4 was proven to be a capable fighter craft, but was still being shot down at an alarming rate. This high loss rate was attributed to the lack of proper dog-fighting training, giving Vietnamese pilots an edge in close combat. Later, to combat this issue, F-4s were equipped with a gun pod, and later, an internal cannon. A similar situation could arise with the F-35, where the pilots - already flying without the proper equipment, software, or conditions - might not be fully ready for combat.  This could occur in an encounter with an enemy aircraft that is inside the range of the long-distance attack stealth and missile technology, leaving an a pilot on the wrong end of a bad fighter engagement.