Peer Review 12B for Jake Gyles

Peer review, especially with a full rough draft, allows for a reader to take a full and in depth look at an authors take on a specific project or work. With a full rough draft, I can make detailed and insightful observations impossible with only an outline.
What follows is a content suggestion for Jake Gyles and his essay titled Packed vs. School Made Lunches: Which is the Better Option for Your Child?

 
What follows are a few questions that would help an author exam a peer review, especially focused on the content of the project, which cover the detail of the sources, ideas, and goals of the project.

• How successfully the “Rough Cut” meets the criteria described in the Project 2 Assignment Sheet

-  While this essay did effectively present a public argument and the reasons for why a specific solution is bad, which is one of the ways to approach an argument we covered in the class, the essay lacks content in the body paragraphs, leaving me out to guess as to why the parents should leave the school lunches for the school. No sources are mentioned and the project will suffer because of it, as it doesn't meet the guidelines for project 3's content outline.

• the level of detail and development present in the “Rough Cut”

- If the level of detail present in the introduction and conclusion were present in the rest of the essay, this would be a successful project. However, there is significant lack of body paragraphs, quoted sources, and analysis, which will build the basis and foundation for a successful essay. The introduction and conclusion are great, and actually hooked me into wanting to read further, however without at least a discussion on the benefits of a school lunch or the drawbacks of a home lunch, a counterargument section, and a plethora of sources, this project presents little development. 

• the effectiveness of the use and citation of credible sources in the “Rough Cut”

- The use of sources was nonexistent in this project, and leave me with little room to analyze or give suggestions, other than to say get to work and stop procrastinating. But good introduction! You sound like a good writer. 

Following the article outlining the requirement for project three would do a great deal to help this project. By following those basic questions and answering them, this project would benefit greatly. I do admire Jake's ability to paint a picture, or a convincing story to draw a reader into the essay.